relationship and marriage

The scripture says “train up a child in the way that he should go and when he’s old he’ll not depart from it”. Proverbs 22:15 also says “children just naturally do silly, careless things but a good spanking will teach them how to behave”. The above scriptures reminds me of my experience with a young boy of 8 years. My first encounter with this young boy was on a very hot Saturday. I was outside taking fresh air and a chilled drink. This young boy who happens to be my neighbour’s son came to where I sat, took my drink and gulped more than half of it. When I turned I saw him and I was upset because he didn’t ask for it. I told him not to do such again and if he does it again, I’ll beat him. My second encounter with him was the day he talked disrespectfully to one of our neighbors and his mother didn’t say anything. I was lost because I was surprised at the kind of words that came out from a boy of 8 years. It wasn’t the first time he was doing such a thing though. I approached his mother to tell her to caution her child but I was appalled by her reply. She said “na small pikin na” he doesn’t know what he’s doing. I was worried because I wondered what would become of that child if he continued that way.

Dear parents or future parents, you’ve been saddled with the responsibility of training and correcting that child be it your biological child or another person’s child. Mothers today don’t want someone else to correct their children which is not good. The inability to discipline these children has caused a lot of disorder in the society. The family is the smallest cell unit of the society. If the family is bad, the society will be bad. If the children are trained up in the wrong way, there will be chaos in the society. Have it in mind that you’ll give account of the children God gave to you. So why not train them up in the way of the Lord. Teach them to pray, study the word, teach them morals, respect, and so on. Sow good seeds in them so that you can reap it. Whatever you sow, you’ll reap. In some cases, these indisciplined boys grow up into men who become touts or end up becoming bad husband’s and so on. Sometimes the women end up becoming bad wives, mothers and so on. Some mothers do not even teach their son how to treat a woman and they don’t teach their daughters how to respect a man. This has caused a lot of problems in marriages and relationships. Teach them even the little things from talking to a woman softly to opening the door of the car and so on. Parents please also model the kind of family your children will be proud to have. Children learn faster by what they see. If you’re an abusive husband or wife, your child will think that it’s a normal thing and might end up like that. If you don’t see God as anything or you disregard fellowship with bretherens, your children will likely grow up believing that God is an option.

It is very possible that since that woman mentioned above didn’t correct her young son of 8 years, he’ll grow with such attitude and miss out on a lot of opportunities if fails to change. Whenever a child does wrong, correct him or her and do not wait till when he or she becomes a teenager before you correct them. It’s better to start early than to start late. If you fail to correct that child now, later in life you’ll have to bandage his or her wounds. Such a child will bring you disgrace.

Receive grace to bring up well that gift of God which is your child. God bless you.

Your relationship and marriage coach,

Chiamaka Opara