relationship and marriage

Today, I’m particular about the ladies and this write-up refers more to our ladies. Few days ago, I was with a married lady; we were just discussing various topics relating to marriage. You know na, we single ladies are eager to learn what we can about marriage before entering into it😁. As the discussion progressed, being an inquisitive person I began to ask some questions. First of all, I asked her how she has contributed to her husband’s life starting from the dating stage, what value she has added and so on. The immediate response I received was a silence. I kept looking at her, searching her face for answers. Finally, she spoke up. She said “ehhnn, she doesn’t need to contribute anything that if a man loves her he’ll chase her and do everything to keep her.” She continued by saying that right from their dating stage till now that they are married, the man has being the one buying things, initiating ideas and so on. I stared at her with a shock on my face.

Ladies hear this; no man wants a wife as a liability. He already has a lot to deal with. Ask yourself; are you an asset or a liability? The Lord made you the woman to be a “helpmeet” to the man. Financially speaking, liability is anything that takes money from your pocket while asset is anything that brings money into your pocket. Liabilities always demand and take while assets always yield return and give. Liability depreciates in value while asset appreciates in value. You’re a liability to your spouse if the thought of you brings an instant frown to their faces.

Listen, your beauty isn’t the only qualification you need. Do you add value to that man? Being an asset does not only relate to finance. Do you encourage your spouse? Do you spur him to become the better version of himself? Do you use positive or negative words on him? Do you wait for him to initiate the ideas all the time? Do you wait for him to always bring the money just to fix little things in the home? Are you supportive of him? Do you invest your time, prayers in him? How have you added value to your spouse?

Let’s take a look at the proverbs 31 woman. She is far more than jewels, her husband puts his confidence in her and he will never be poor. All her life she does him good not harm. She is not an idle woman neither is she lazy. She keeps herself busy by making clothes for her home to keep them warm, she is a good cook and serves her family home cooked meals. She is an investor, she looks at a land and buys it and with the profits she plants a vineyard. She is hardworking, strong, industrious. She knows the value of everything she makes, she knows the value she adds and she works late into the night. She is a giver; she is generous to the poor and needy. She doesn’t worry when it snows or cold comes because her family has warm clothing made or bought by her. She supports her husband and he is well known. She is a business woman; she makes clothes, belts and sells them to merchants. She is prayerful, strong, respected and not afraid of the future. She speaks with wisdom; always busy and looks after her family’s needs. Her children love and appreciate her, her husband praises her. He says “many women are good wives, but you are the best of them all.” Truly charm is deceptive, beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

These are the characteristics of a woman who is an asset to her spouse. Desire not just to be a good wife but the best wife. God has made that grace available, receive it and put it to work. God bless you

Your relationship and marriage coach,

Chiamaka Opara